Spring is here, I guess

Weather in the south is crazy. One day it is forty degrees and the next day it is a sweltering eighty two degrees. According to the calendar spring is here. No wait is it summer? It must be since it is already nearly the unbearable ninety degrees per my car' temperature gauge. There you have it I totally missed my favorite weather, the high sixties to mid seventies. Damn!!

Okay enough belly aching about something I clearly cannot change without picking up and moving. I am way too lazy to do that. This week my sister wanted to know why mother was bothering me. I hate when she does not join me in trash talking about family. I wanted to say every time I blog I remember crap that is best left unearthed but I do like to blog so what is the point. She would have told me to stop immediately. She assumed since we spent time together over holidays and cocktails were not involved things were getting tolerable. Not really the case, I did it for my other sibling. The Christmas festivities were fine because cocktails were involved.

How do parents get under your skin long after you have left the nest? At every family function, I revert back to my teenage years or my early twenties. I hate that person since I have worked so hard to transform into a "normal" adult. My best medicine is to stay away, far away. Run for the hills!!

Spring Forward

It is that time again, day light savings. Fall back is so much better than spring forward. Strange how one hour makes such a difference. Why cannot all the states be like Arizona or Hawaii and not participate in changing clocks either way? It would be nice to live in an anti-clock changing state. Hawaii is way too expensive and I think the only work is hotels. Arizona is hot as hell. Yeah Arizona residents always make dry heat sound wonderful. Lets be honest dry heat is crap, it is still HOT. Being the drama queen that I am, I cannot handle heat. I get physically ill. I feel like I am going to pass out or puke in heat over seventy-five degrees. Never mind I have never been to either state. Details.

Well to continue on my mountain of mommy issues. Mother has decided to not only paint my sister's pending babies room but to throw her a baby shower as well. By the way she has not been to my sister's house since she bought it over a year and a half ago. It is strange she can only deal with babies and with small children. Once you hit the teenager years, she prefers less contact. Well in her defense once one hits the middle teenage years you start to realize she is not quite what you thought. The gig is up. You found her out and you are out on your butt. In my case, the social security money ran out so there was no reason to keep me around. I remember the day when she called the security security administration looking for one more check in the month of my eighteenth birthday. The kicker is my birthday is on the 2nd of month and the government considers your birthday the month before at that point so no more checks. I had my own room with no immediate cash flow since I had just graduated high school. I had to go.

There are two more siblings at the house so once they hit 18 it should not be a surprise to them. They are just dumb if they did not learn from the first four of us.

Frozen Dinner Please

I am enjoying a glass of wine and waiting for the toaster oven to produce another fabulous frozen dinner, Chicken Marsala. As usual the picture on the box looks a hell of a lot better than what comes out of the box. Sadly the chicken is a lot smaller than the picture on the box too, hence the low calorie count. As I have said before calorie counting sucks!! Unfortunately or fortunately my love of wine and of food are pretty much equal so a little wine, a little food.

Since blogging last I found out my sister is pregnant with twins. She is the first of us six kids to take the leap and I am still trying to get used to the idea she actually has decided to embark on this path. After our colorful upbringing parenthood is the last thing I would ever do. I see my fictional child on A&E's show "Intervention" at a young age blaming me for everything that could have possibly gone wrong with their life and the reason for their out of control drug habit. I would have to sit there and be ridiculed by the viewers for every bloody decision I ever made for the little brat. Yuck. Yes kids are not for me.

Anyway my dog will not quit barking and I need every last bit of my hearing remaining. I think the bowl of dog food has made it through his system. Time to go for a walk again.

Yuck

Yuck!! I had my annual exam today and I have to say the experience is getting better every year with medical advancements. My doc is a lot quicker then I first started these awesome yearly fun trips. Of course I went to the free clinic since I was not speaking to my mother at the time and she was the keeper of the insurance. Needless to say she was holding the insurance card hostage since I was shacking up with a man fifteen years my senior. Oh good times. Now I have a doctor with a degree from a more reputable school than the county doctor. Besides they should be quick as all they do all day is look at women's cooches for a living. While you are lying on the exam mini table completely naked with the exception of my socks (winter time).

Well it has been a really long time since I have blogged. Christmas and New Year's have come and have gone. Both were very uneventful which is extremely surprising with my family. The most scandalous event was my father-in-law had Christmas dinner at my mother-in-law's house. They have been divorced for over 20 years and she has remarried for over 17 years. Nothing happened. I only had one glass of wine since I got crocked at my mother's house on Christmas Eve. Nothing happened at mom's house either just alcohol and food.

My brother who is in his late twenties hosted Christmas brunch at his new place. He made broccoli cheese soup from scratch and bread from scratch as well. Unfortunately my father helped him cut the bread cutting his finger in the process. Luck for me I picked the piece of bread with the blood to have with the soup. My father was quick to tell me that he recently had a HIV test and it was negative. I left that one alone. Some cans are left better not opened.

My brother's loft is located in a more seedy area of Atlanta in my opinion. He is shacking up with his girlfriend keeping in line with the habits of his older siblings. We all shack up before getting married. You gotta know what you are getting into before making it legal. He explained the area is very hip and I could not see this because I am not hip. I suppose if I looked past all the graffiti and the drug dealers I might see the hip factor. Funny on Christmas Day you can find a drug dealer on every corner in this hip part of town. I made sure to bring all of my belongings with me into his loft. I was not sure if my car would be waiting for me once brunch was over.

Life is Mundane

I came home today after going to the grocery store again. Really how many times do I need to go to that store? It is not overly fun unless you consider picking out cereal absolutely orgasmic. Besides nothing bought lasts long like a pair of fab shoes from the mall. Those fab shoes could last for at least a season or two, not two days. I consider shoes a necessity like food. Regardless if I was more organized and actually wrote a grocery list every week, it would be easier on me but I am not organized. This is a rare condition I do not possess like genius. I definitely do not possess that condition either, sad but so true. My weekly wine intake does not help the cause either, brain cells who needs them.

After my joyous grocery store trip, I came home to walk the dog, make dinner, pre-make coffee for morning and put the clothes in the dryer. I know this is major fun stuff. Tonight's dinner is my turkey meatloaf speciality. Yes I am making this yummy recipe again though as preciously I blogged I will not leave the chore of putting away the food to my husband. We do not need a repeat of that saga and he definitely does want his wonderful wife to strike again. Anyway Christmas is around the corner and I want good gifts this year. Strike could equal gifts which are less than wanted for Christmas.

Back to Work

I am back to work after five weeks of recovery. It is so nice conversing with live people. Of course as I start week two it is the same old crap, different month. I really need to win the lottery. Why won't you pick my numbers Mr. Lotto Machine? I believe I am just as worthy as that person residing in a single wide, one paycheck away from being evicted from the trailer park.

My mother actually called to see how I was doing. I was so weirded out getting two calls from her in a month it took a of couple of days to return the call. I did not have much to worry about, it was like every phone call. Five minutes then she has to go because I mention something uncomfortable. Not this time she had to go because a client was calling. Yes I only call her at work. One: she cannot get out of control. Two: work eventually cuts the conversation short. Funny since we used to be so close until her last shenanigan a few years ago and that I will save for later post.

Ah Thursday

Tomorrow is my last day of broken ankle disability. I will have to hop around work for four days until they give me a walking cast. Gosh I hope that means "walking" and not some cruel joke. The doctor will probably tell me it is not any different than a cast and to keep using the crutches not to apply any pressure.

Well today is the first day I have cooked a dish from scratch in four weeks. Pork with a cream sauce, Campbell's cream of mushroom soup very "souped" up Amber style, bring on the spices etc. I hardly ever follow a recipe. I started cooking French cuisine at nineteen. I figured if you can cook French you can cook anything and I like to think I am living proof. Most women told me to get the trusted Betty Crocker cookbook and I would learn how to cook. No way have you seen those recipes? Yuck!!

In addition I was trying banish all thoughts of my mother's cooking, pick up the book continuing the tradition of bad family meals at my table. Like a lot of her choices in life, she put those meals in front of us nightly and told to swallow it.

Her first choice I remember first hand (not second hand from relatives as I was too young) was her decision to go back to school the first time at the local community college. School was not the bad choice but what she did there. She meant my little brother's father while married to my stepfather. Up until then life was pretty good and I dare say normal. There was the occasional fight between them but nothing too bad.

My mother was this other man's "tutor" and obviously did not stop with the books. He actually came to our house one evening for tutoring while my siblings and I were there. We had to wait patiently until the tutoring session ended so we could go meet my stepfather for dinner. He stayed a long time outside the house talking with my mother that evening. At the time I did not put two and two together until later I found out my stepfather did not father my brother then the light bulb went off burning at 100 watts.

My stepfather knew he was not the father but wanted my brother so my brother did not find out about their antics until he turned eighteen. I have no idea until this day who this guy is and either does my brother. My mother told my brother it was none of his business. Cute huh.